A virtual holiday team event people do not dread

Because they are built on obligation. An all-company invitation arrives, attendance is expected, and the activity is vague, so people show up out of duty and wait for it to end. Then the facilitator does the most natural thing and asks everyone to share something personal on camera. That is the moment the dread arrives.

The holidays carry weight that a Tuesday call does not. For some people the season is joyful. For others it brings loss, money worries, family strain, or a religion or tradition that the invitation did not think about. A format that assumes everyone is celebrating the same thing in the same way will land badly for someone, and the someone will rarely say so.

So design for choice. The test I use is simple: could a person attend, enjoy it, and reveal nothing about their life? If yes, the format is safe to run. If you want help building a room where quieter people are comfortable, how to build community in a virtual training room is a good companion.

Here is the shape I would run. It has three short blocks and a clean ending:

• 0:00 to 0:05 Welcome. Explain the format, say that everything is optional, and say that cameras are your call
• 0:05 to 0:20 Activity one, in small groups. A light, structured prompt in breakout rooms of three or four, with a pass allowed
• 0:20 to 0:35 Activity two, as a whole group. A shared task that needs no personal disclosure
• 0:35 to 0:45 Close. A round of thanks, an easy exit, and permission to leave early

Opt-in matters at the invitation stage too. Say in the invitation that the event is voluntary, say what will happen, and say that nobody is tracking attendance. People turn up more willingly when leaving is easy.

Pick two from different families, one small-group and one whole-group. Here are two I like:

• Small group: the best of the year, in an object. In groups of three or four, each person names a small thing from the year that helped them, such as a tool, a habit, a person, or a song. They can pick something about work and say nothing private. Passing is fine
• Whole group: the shared playlist or the shared board. Everyone adds one item to a shared document: a recipe, a book, a song, or a small useful tip for the new year. No names are required and nobody speaks. Read a few aloud at the end

Both work without cameras, both work for quiet people, and neither asks anyone to be funnier or warmer than they feel. Other ideas that fit the same rules are in what to do instead of icebreakers.

Use this wording as written or adjust to your voice.

Welcome

Activity one

Activity two

Close

Treat the people who are not in the same room as full participants, not as an audience. If some of the team is together and some is remote, run the event as an online event for everyone, even for the people in the room, with each person on their own device. Otherwise the remote ones watch a party they are not at. The reasons are in hybrid rooms are two rooms.

Keep the language neutral about what people celebrate. “The end of the year” and “the new year” include more people than any single holiday does. Avoid anything that requires drinking, spending money, or a particular tradition, and do not make a gift exchange part of the event unless people opted in and know the limits.